7 Questions for Deeper Friendships

by ERIK ORTON on JANUARY 11, 2017

Jayne and York

Jayne and York

I’ll know we’re good friends when we can talk about these kinds of questions:

  • What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
  • What would you do if you weren’t worried about money?
  • What are you enthusiastic about?
  • What is your dream job?
  • What is stopping you from doing that?
  • What would it take to do that?
  • How can I help?

We met Jayne and York and their four kids while camping a few years ago.  We became quick friends and soon thereafter convinced York and Jayne to go sailing with us in the British Virgin Islands.  Emily and I were chartering a boat for the first time.  The trip was one of our self-created training runs in our ramp-up to buying and sailing our own boat.  Jayne and York trusted us and came along.  They took a chance with us.  We became even better friends.  In the following years, we continued to get together and talk about the above questions.  And we started to figure out the answers. 

Fast forward.  Emily and I bought our boat, went sailing with our five kids, and came home.  Fast forward a bit more. It’s 12 degrees outside—the coldest weekend of the year—but I’m standing on a bamboo wood floor in 92 degree heat, my shirt off, feeling vulnerable with sweat poring out of my body.  I had no idea a body could sweat so much so fast.  I guess I have a gift.  

I do not do yoga, but I am trying to do yoga.  Jayne leads us into our class starting gently in child’s pose, then sun salutations and then the stuff that really makes my mind and body work.  Emily is on the mat right beside me.  We are confident because we know we can trust our instructor.  We are taking a risk with her because we trust her.  I’ll bet this will make us even better friends.  In the end, I come away a little transformed.  Not only have I experienced something new and powerful, but I’m also watching something new and powerful.  

When we would get together with Jayne and York, we would talk about these questions.  Their answers were different than ours.  They wanted to open a yoga studio.  They wanted to help people through physical, mental and spiritual healing.  It was a big risk in so many ways, but they are doing it.  Sol Power Yoga in Bedford, NH.

So now I’m looking at you.  Yes, you.  

  • What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
  • What would you do if you weren’t worried about money?  
  • What are you enthusiastic about?
  • What’s your dream job?
  • What’s stopping you from doing that?
  • What would it take to do that?
  • How can I help?

Hanging out after a class.

Emily, Jayne, York, Erik - friends.

Emily, Jayne, York, Erik - friends.